I also could have titled this post "Danielle." But I'd rather point to someone else.
A friend recently showed me the news unfolding over the Baby Einstein videos. The CCFC (Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood - and no they don't mean everyone should have Tivo) has been pressing Disney for sometime to either substantiate or withdraw claims that the Baby Einstein dvds will help make your kids a freaking genius. Well, research has come out and - sorry to break the news - watching moving pictures on a screen doesn't teach your kid. It actually hurts their development.
Though research like this had been prevalent and available for sometime (like 10 years), people are suddenly shocked and really upset. And to top it all off it's, evidently Disney's fault- CCFC has won out in getting Disney to reimburse people for their dvds. $15 a pop. l Nice.
Now perhaps you don't see the connection here to your marriage, but I do. I'm not talking about how much TV your family watches either, that's another post altogether. I am rather referring to our inclination to blame someone else for something that is entirely our fault. Even I'm like this, but I get it from my mom. :)
We are groomed in a culture that tells us that their is always someone else to blame. If there is no such thing as a free lunch, well, that's because someone else is eating two lunches somewhere! It's their fault! Rarely are individuals encouraged to take responsibility for their own actions and take some initiative to get themselves into a new attitude or life circumstance.
Now don't go hatin' on me. By no means am I ruling out charity and love and mercy. Certainly those things are praised and should be present in the life of every believer. Yet, when you find yourself without, when you find that you are angry, when you find that you are discouraged - you are responsible for you. Don't go calling the CCFC and get them to make some calls for you - certainly that is not what love would do. I digress.
Back to the point. Are you a Blame Shifter? Do you find yourself prone to account for the faults of your husband and children with ease, yet find your own remorse over attitude or wrong doing much harder to list? Are you always ready to say "you own me this"? Maybe in your heart, if not out loud?
Let us be reminded that we are owed NOTHING. When Christ came, we asked everything of Him on the cross. There on that cross, He gave us all that could be desired.
Hear this open ears:
If you find yourself wanting, certainly it is NOT because you actually lack something.
In Christ you lack nothing. You are a fool to believe anything other than this truth. You are distracted and believing lies. Videos don't make your kids smart! The world will not make you happy! More appreciation from your husband will not make you happy! Children who obey will not make you happy! A faithful and easy marriage will not make you happy! A leaner body will not make you happy! Another cup of coffee, another piece of cake, a call from a friend, a clean house, a new job, getting to work at home, living closer to family, a husband who never deploys - they will all come up short. They are less than the cross! They are less than the empty tomb!
I am convinced (though me being convinced doesn't make it true, it ought to be a least compelling, right?) that many, if not all, of the difficulties in marriage and life are directly connected with my inability to recognize what I already posses. I shift my attention to circumstances, I shift blame to others, I shift my weight back and forth as I grow uncomfortable even now having to admit that I am in the wrong. I am the one to blame. When before God I am the one who is guilty. Or rather should be seen that way.
Yet in Christ - oh! In Christ! God becomes the Ulitmate Blame Shifter. Not shifting Blame away from Himself, which would be entirely right of Him to do. For in Him there is no fault. There is no wrong. There is only Good and Right and Pure. Yet God shifts the blame to Himself. TO HIMSELF. On Christ our blame and fault has fallen, and in that great assurance can we not say we have found all things needed? As Christ has shifted the blame from us and on to Himself, as He defeated it in death, and Lords over it in Life - how then do we sit and say we lack any, ANY, good thing? How?!
If you shift today, friend, let it be a shift from a women who once thought others to blame - or even from a woman who thought herself to blame - into a woman who has no fault at all in the eyes of her God.
For the blame that once was - will never be again!
In the resurrection of Christ we have found ourselves blameless. And we had nothing to do with it.
If you find yourself wanting, certainly it is NOT because you actually lack something.
Why do you find yourself wanting then? Remember the cross. Remember the Shift that Christ Embodies.
Take Hope! Be Happy! Unlike Disney, You don't owe the debt you created. You don't pay the God you offended. It has been paid.
You simply must remember. And let us extend some measure of this graciousness to the people around us, particularly our husbands. Certainly the debt you think he owes you is nothing in comparison the debt you would have owed a perfect and Righteous God.
