The Melody Underneath

Two nights ago Lance sat on the couch with his guitar case on the floor in front of him. It was the end of the day, and faces were tired - but the indicators were not lost on our two oldest. Daddy was going to play some songs. They both moved to find instruments themselves. M (3 years) asked for the old mandolin, which is terribly out of tune and in addition is missing as string. J (5 years) dragged the drum from the corner and climbed into a chair to wrap his legs around it. They didn't wait for Lance, but started "tuning" their own instruments and ears. Lance chose a few hymns silently, then asked them if they were ready. He began to play. The chaos of sound that followed could have only been enjoyed by a mother and father who simply like their own kids. It was terrible. The harder they played the more Lance was drowned out. They tried to play louder than one another. They yelled at each other for playing so loudly. Sometimes they stopped to sing. Often the wrong words. I looked at a hymnal and sang along as best I could. Trying to remember the actual melody. It could not be made out most of the time. But there were moments, when our little creatures lined up perfectly. Though M's mandolin was out of tune, and she had no idea how to play it - she might have 5 or 6 strums that were right on beat and mirrored Lance's pattern. And Jameson is very rhythmic for a little one, and sometimes he would even begin to feel the beat to hear it and it translated to his playing. Using both hands. All along Lance's playing was consistent. Reliable. In their respites he would always break through, and be exactly where he ought to have been all along. He was the melody underneath. But the most amazing thing to me is when all those moments would line up together. The imperfect little strummer. The often syncopated drummer. The mother whose voice is very pitchy in her later stage of pregnancy. The consist melody underneath. And it's genuinely beautiful. It may only be for 4 bars, but it's beautiful - and then it's gone again. I feel like much of my life is like this right now. The chaos. Everyone trying so hard. So may things going on. Few of them being done well. And it feels like noise. Like it doesn't make any sense. Like it's not really being held together by any common chord. I can't hear the melody underneath. But you know - it is there. He is there. The Great Composer. And whether it's more like a Stomp performance (when He takes my trash, empty coffee cans, and broom sticks) and makes something strong and memorable, or if it is like Swan Lake - lovely, and seamless, and drawing me in (like a morning of solitude or full naps) it is still something. It is significant. I can't always hear the melody, but it is so clear to me, when it finally breaks through - that it has been there all along. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with the mediocre demands of toddlerhood life. It is so easy to feel forgotten or betrayed when people around you may hurt you or disappoint you. It is so easy to focus on the chaos and not the melody, but often - if i can close my eyes for a moment I can hear it there underneath. It has been carrying me along all this time, and it will not stop until it has reached it's end. If I really stop to look into the eyes of my children and see them when they are hurting or feel wronged - I can hear the melody underneath. When I see them dance and laugh, and fall down with joy - I can hear the melody underneath. Even as I clear away a table and realize that all our bellies are full and we still have food leftover - i can hear the melody underneath. Or even if i collapse in the shower, and sit on the floor and cry as the water beats down on me, and I ask God "where are you, Lord? I need you now." - In the white noise of the drops splashing on the mildewed shower door - I can hear the melody underneath. And He is there. Just as He always has been. Be encouraged today sister. Whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, is going on in your life - He is there. Our Faithful Lord is there, and He has not swayed from His composition. It is being carried out exactly has He intended. You may have been hoping for a crescendo much sooner, but dear one - you are not in charge. We can rest in His plan. We can be certain we have a part in His melody. When you find that beautiful moment when your "music" lines up with His rejoice! And remember it! But do not be discouraged when it passes, and seems like it was too brief. When my children were playing with Lance, and those beautiful moments happened - Lance would remark (not missing a beat) "J that was perfect! You did a great job just then!" or "M you did that part just like Daddy!" and in the end he closed "I love playing music with you guys." You see Lance didn't expect anything different from them. They are tiny children. He is not unreasonable. He loves them. He wants them to learn. He wants them to love music. He wants them to love making music with him, because He loves making music with them. Your God is not looking on you with disappointment Christian. When your efforts seem only as noise, He is not frustrated and wishing you to another sound proof room. This is when He is welcoming you in. This is when He smiles on you and laughs with you. It is no surprise to our Lord that He indeed is the melody underneath! Just come to Him. Be happy that He has invited you into His music. Rejoice in His words of encouragement. Play, play some more. I have a feeling, as our children grow older - there will be less and less time spent in musical opposition and frustration, and more and more in tune. Christ is our melody underneath. He makes life beautiful. Open my ears Lord, so that I might hear.