Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Corner of the Roof

It is better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a home with a quarreling woman.

This quote almost sounds like something out a stand-up comedy act or some romantic comedy on TLC. It's not though. It is a verse from Proverbs, 25:24. I often get a laugh from it, but then gloss on to the next verse, but as I have been reading through Proverbs, I have noticed that this verse (and variations of it) are mentioned several times. Not just this once.

As I read this I can not help but wonder how many of our husbands, though not in actuality, but in their minds and emotions totally checkout when they come home and retreat to the corner of the roof so that they don't have to tolerate our quarreling and contention? You feel like he is never listening when you are talking - perhaps it is simply because he can not hear you from the roof. Your nagging and quarreling has made him chose this retreat, because he would rather live alone on a roof than together with you in your house.

Another of my favorites is Proverbs 9:13 - A foolish woman is loud, she has no sense at all.

Dang. And what is Proverbs called? The book of wisdom? Talk about a blow.

I have to say these two verses in particular have called me to reflect on my personal attitude and actions. Am I that lady in the room that simply does not know when to close her mouth? Even when I am home with my husband, is he thinking "Danielle, that's enough already. Just let it go." Certainly I do not what to be that way. I do not want to be foolish in my words, nonsensical.

Let us reflect on these things.

1. When you see your husband distancing himself, as yourself:
- What have I said to make him welcome in our home?
- What have I said that could be seen as quarreling or nagging?
- Have I communicated that I love him?
- Have I communicated that I need him? That I am glad he chooses to come home?

2. When I speak, is it profitable?
- Do I talk simply to make conversation, or is their value to my words?
- Do I speak of things that good, holy, just, pure and lovely?
- Do I make it my intention to talk about the good things first?
- Why do I think that I HAVE to mention every negative observation I make?
- Why can't I "let go" of somethings instead of have a conversation at length about them?
- Do I pray about my conversation?


These TOTALLY hit home for me. I know my home would be a lot less like a roof, if I could just make some small accommodations to love in word and in deed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think I read 5 blog posts already. So glad I stumbled across this - very helpful.

Thanks for taking the time to talk about these things. I'm just 2 months in, but I feel like we hit the ground running on all of this (maybe that's normal). I definitely feel encouraged at this point, for which I am grateful.

So thanks again.