Methodists

As I have processed things in the past week, and prayed for my own marriage and the marriages of our friends (you guys) - I have been reminded again of the importance of the last entries truths.

Oh, how easy it is to forget that we are not in control. We might saying it in conversations, but the depth of the truth of our reliance on God's mercy has never really penetrated most of our hearts. We believe that when things are hard they are from our own mishaps or even that we have not done all that we should have. We pity ourselves marriage has not been it is was cracked up to be - we were told it would be easy the first year, then after that very hard (or the opposite - hard the first year, then easier after that). We thought we read all the right books, went to premarital counseling, and even completed surveys about communication styles and expectations. Yet here we are in the midst of a marriage that feels much more like an arrangement. There is no passion, or ease - everything comes along with effort and promises to ourselves. We say, "I can do this one more week." Then as each week passes our promise is renewed.

Perhaps, you are in a season of marriage that is just plain GOOD. Things happen easily, and in love making and friendship you both are on the same page, at least - the same book. Even in this, there are places in the corners of our hearts we still must remain intentional in offering over our proud attitudes and self-absorbed agendas. God alone is the giver of good things, and He only should be trusted and thanked for them. Certainly, I do not mean stop praising your husband (do not stop that if it is done with a genuine attitude) rather I only mean to take measures often to remind yourself that your husband is only a vessel to bless you through. God is the giver.

Under the preface of those reminders, I will start with my thoughts on personal efforts in maintaining and pursuing a healthy and good marriage. I title this entry "Methodists" because Lance calls me a Methodist. Not that I line up with the doctrine of Methodist teachings, but rather - that I tend to lean in the general direction of loving methods as a means to accomplish things. I approach this attitude with caution, because I do not want to present the false picture of trusting methods. Trusting methods and employing methods are NOT THE SAME THING. Rather, I do say, that in the posture of begging for mercy - we should not become idle - saying "Certainly, if grace abounds we can keep on doing what we always do? Right?" and I answer with the Apostle "MAY IT NEVER BE!"

I lay out these methods (or exercises, or whatever you want to call them) as a very elementary approach to disciplining our hearts and minds in such a way that we begin to actively take part in this renewal that God has promised to those who belong to Him! Oh! What good news! Let us not lean on our methods, but God's promises as we become practicers of good wivery (being a good wife).

With all that said, I also would remind "Don't be a lazy bum, who just sits around an pouts." (I know you all love the compassion in my voice. :) )

Methods to try:
1) Note Card with One Verse -
This method has been great for me. It is particularly helpful when you regularly fight bad thoughts towards your husband or yourself (or children). When a ungodly thought enters your mind, immediately pull out your card and review the verse in your mind (say it out loud if you need to) until your mind is clear. I recommend choosing a verse that has a big "T" truth in it, meaning a Truth that stands forever. The Psalms are a great place to look for verses like these.

2) Reflection -
Maybe your only alone quite time is when you go to the bathroom - then be intentional about closing your eyes for a few seconds, think on the attitude you have expressed towards your husband today - and what you want to communicate to him (through your attitude) as he is around for the rest of the day. Thinks of particular things you may need to ask forgiveness for. Think on who you really are - your true feels for him, and ask yourself if these these have been accurately conveyed to him through your words and actions.

3) Meditation -
This is very similar to Method 1, yet it should be done in particular times you have set aside. It does not have to be a long period of time - 2 or 3 minutes if that's all you have. Take passages that are written particularly about godly women. Meditate on their characteristics. Think on what it means to be a follower of God. What does it mean to love your neighbor? What does it mean to wear modest apparel? What does is mean to respect, submit to, and follow your husband as to the Church?

4) Songs -
Fill your mind and heart with songs of promise and good attitudes. This is particularly helpful if you claim to have no time to do the earlier mentioned methods. Be intentional about listening to music that edifies you and your home. You might even mention to your husband that you would like to sing together once a week ( or read a hymn together once a week). You will be surprised how many traditional hymns have great theology. This will work to transform our hearts.


That is just a few to start. I am very curious if any of you did practice the few minutes of Mercy, I encouraged you to last week. Please do leave comments on that. Do you feel like this practice is a waist? Unbiblical? Silly?

I love you ladies. I do pray for your marriages each week before I write. I pray our hearts continue to be changed. I love you all.