Questions answered

So, I told you I would answer the questions posed in a previous post "Methodical Love Making." I will anticipate that my answers will be much shorter and concise than desirable, but I hope that they present opportunity for a launching point in more conversation. Nothing stated here is final - just conclusions I have come to. I am more than happy to provide sources (as stated before) for foundations for any of the following answers, if someone so desires.

Largely these conclusions came from personal study, and lots of conversation with my husband. The latter is what I encourage more of. These are things that you and your husband need to talk about, to have discussions on. It would be wrong for you to make your own conclusions and for your final answer on to him - they should be arrived at mutually out of respect and patience. With that said - below are my all too short, yet honest answer. I will answer one question each week for the following weeks until we have covered them all.

1. Is there variety in your sex life?
"Variety is the spice of life." Someone said that right? I have to say the lost work seems to understand this very well. Today most of our culture revels in multiple partners (and even spouses), moving from one job to the next, and buying a new car or outfit like they were a piece of stale bread. Certainly as followers of Christ we understand that this is not the variety our hearts would benefit from, rather that type of variety destroys our souls and bodies. In that - we are limited too ( and gratefully so) a life of monogamy and faithfulness. In a time when we long to love the word, be faithful in money, and time - we have found that much of our time and resources are limited and allocated in specific none flexible ways. This is not so in love making. Or rather - it does not have to be so.
The bedroom of a believing husband and wife should be first in our minds when we think of freedom and variety. Raised by a generation of men and women who rarely, if ever, spoke of intimacy - we have found ourselves often falling into the same trap. It has the danger of leaving us with repetition and apathy, and certainly these are not two things I want my husband to associate with our bedroom. If I only made meals in our home that consisted of grain and water, certainly my husband would jump at the chance to have a meal at another's home - and at the very least - he would long for others lunches as they unpacked them at work, or day dream as he caught a glimpse of a billboard displaying a steak, pizza, or even a plain old burger. This because my husbands palette desires variety, and mine does as well. My deprive one another of what is good and desirable?
Taking time to evaluate and talk about what you might like in love is good. Do not be the women whose table only serves what is necessary to get by. Be a wife whose bedroom is full of things that make the mouth water, and stomach churn, and grows and appetite for seconds, thirds, and more. Though the literal table is capped with a call to moderation - gluttony and delight are the terms of our bedroom. May it always be so.

Suggested Topics

before I continue with this blog thing - this week is to gather information.

What are some topics you all would like to cover?

Methodical Love Making

The last entry we talked about how Methods are good in forming habits that will transform the way we think and act. This next topic will be, nearly, the opposite. We are going to discuss the dangers of having a set pattern in love making.

I recently spent time with a couple who have horrible communication skills. They can interact with total strangers, speak in front of large groups with charisma, but when it comes to their own personal interaction - they seem at times to lack even a very basic consideration and affection for one another. As I observed them I could not help but think "i wonder what their sex life is like"? I thought of asking the woman, but it seems inappropriate to launch into such a personal topic during our brief encounter.

This question popped into my mind because I feel that love making is one of the most essential ingredients to a healthy marriage. I go as far as to say that, aside from a particular miraculous intervention by God, a marriage without frequent love making - will feel more like a burden than a pleasure for both husband and wife. This certainly seemed to be the case of the aforementioned couple - they interacted as though their partnership was a burden and labor.

Next week, I plan to write my thoughts on this subject. First though, I would love to know where you are all coming from. Certainly here is a topic that everyone seems to just hate. People grow embarrassed and angry when the subject is approached. Tell me it is personal and none of my business. Tell me that I need a hobby instead of prying into others lives. Tell me what you want - but bottom line... I want to see our marriages succeeded. I want to be friends with women who count their husbands a gift - not a burden or labor. I don't want to see you in a divorce. A step towards a love that we delight in and find easy - is rooted and founded in us having sex with our husbands. Certainly, I do not place this above our hearts being in full submission and devotion to God - but do not be mistaken - You can not say you are a godly wife if you are not having sex with your husband regularly.

I hope that if your feathers are ruffled you let me hear from you. I like a good fight every once in a while. You can even leave a fake name or no name if that will give you courage to ask questions or leave comments.

Here are somethings to get you started down the line of leaving comments.

What are your thoughts?

Please share the following (or some of the following) - at the very least, think about these things:
1. Is there variety in your sex life?
2. Do you still go on dates?
3. Do you initiate love making?
4. Does your husband know that you enjoy sex?
5. Do you enjoy sex?
6. Have you taken steps to learn more about making love making pleasurable for you both?
7. Have you discussed with your husband your needs in the bed room?
8. Have you communicated what you need in intimacy? what he needs?
9. Do you have intimate conversation?
10. Do you still make time just sit and kiss?
11. Do you dress to show him you have been thinking of sex?
12. Have you discussed sexual boundaries (how you feel about oral sex? anal sex? etc.)

These are only a few to get the ball rolling. I will comment on all these next week. Also - If you have more questions, write them down - I'm going to comment on them all and give as many Biblical resources as I can to back up my comments.

The comment lines have been cold. I guess this week we will see if anyone is actually reading.

Peace out. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.