Thursday, August 30, 2007

Questions answered

So, I told you I would answer the questions posed in a previous post "Methodical Love Making." I will anticipate that my answers will be much shorter and concise than desirable, but I hope that they present opportunity for a launching point in more conversation. Nothing stated here is final - just conclusions I have come to. I am more than happy to provide sources (as stated before) for foundations for any of the following answers, if someone so desires.

Largely these conclusions came from personal study, and lots of conversation with my husband. The latter is what I encourage more of. These are things that you and your husband need to talk about, to have discussions on. It would be wrong for you to make your own conclusions and for your final answer on to him - they should be arrived at mutually out of respect and patience. With that said - below are my all too short, yet honest answer. I will answer one question each week for the following weeks until we have covered them all.

1. Is there variety in your sex life?
"Variety is the spice of life." Someone said that right? I have to say the lost work seems to understand this very well. Today most of our culture revels in multiple partners (and even spouses), moving from one job to the next, and buying a new car or outfit like they were a piece of stale bread. Certainly as followers of Christ we understand that this is not the variety our hearts would benefit from, rather that type of variety destroys our souls and bodies. In that - we are limited too ( and gratefully so) a life of monogamy and faithfulness. In a time when we long to love the word, be faithful in money, and time - we have found that much of our time and resources are limited and allocated in specific none flexible ways. This is not so in love making. Or rather - it does not have to be so.
The bedroom of a believing husband and wife should be first in our minds when we think of freedom and variety. Raised by a generation of men and women who rarely, if ever, spoke of intimacy - we have found ourselves often falling into the same trap. It has the danger of leaving us with repetition and apathy, and certainly these are not two things I want my husband to associate with our bedroom. If I only made meals in our home that consisted of grain and water, certainly my husband would jump at the chance to have a meal at another's home - and at the very least - he would long for others lunches as they unpacked them at work, or day dream as he caught a glimpse of a billboard displaying a steak, pizza, or even a plain old burger. This because my husbands palette desires variety, and mine does as well. My deprive one another of what is good and desirable?
Taking time to evaluate and talk about what you might like in love is good. Do not be the women whose table only serves what is necessary to get by. Be a wife whose bedroom is full of things that make the mouth water, and stomach churn, and grows and appetite for seconds, thirds, and more. Though the literal table is capped with a call to moderation - gluttony and delight are the terms of our bedroom. May it always be so.

1 comment:

Keeley said...

I agree!
Especially with the part about learning mostly through communication with one another. One thing we have found is that the honesty, vulnerability, and creativity that is essential to so many other parts of our relationship and living together, etc... is foundational to making love with variety, too.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Also, great hair! It looks good on you;)