2. Do you still go on dates?

Dates. Dates. Dates.

So the general responses to the idea of "dating" your husband have a pretty large range. Some women laugh and respond with "who had time for that?" - others might argue "who had money for that?" I think these two complaints weak and apathetic. Another might argue that they still have a "flame" so there really is need for that extra bit of romance and effort. And yet, another may say that they simply would not really enjoy the time alone. Certainly, the latter of the cases is the most sad. Then there might be the simple problem of "we have kids, and not money for a baby sitter."

Though we can brain storm together to address these problems, I bring the question of "dating" to light simply for the necessity to consider it. As teenagers and twenty-somethings we dated and found the time a place to evaluate and get to know your partner. Yet for some reason, after marriage we have decided that the need to "get to know" one another is not a need at all - rather we have simply "got them figured out."

It is my personal belief that this mistake is a large root in the lack of communication in marriage. The moment we believe we know our spouse so fully, we stop communicating with them - we have lay a trap for ourselves and await the pitfalls of silence.
Here lays the benefits (and even necessities) of "date night." When you regularly (weekly, monthly) take time to spend alone with one another away from your home - you will find that there will always be things to discover about your husband. Perhaps it is as simple as his favorite sports team changing, but it might be as drastic as his desires in bed changing. Certainly, these are not changes we want another women to discover over coffee at work, or a more vulnerable moment on a business trip.
Granted, there may be months or years of encounters during which we find our assumptions and information about him are right and confirmed. But when there is a moment when a new aspect or opinion is revealed - it will be certainly worth it.
Further more, if you do not enjoy spending time with your husband - there are even bigger issues to address. Certainly not uncommon issues, but issues bigger than date nights.

In a world that compels us to move quickly, take what we need, and leave everything else behind - a necessary thing to do - is fight that logic in your marriage.

Perhaps, you can ask him out this week? You do not have to spend money, go for a walk in the park. You do not have to go out to eat, pack lunches for a hike. You do not have to get a baby sitter - try to coordinate with another family to take their children once a week and vice versa. Just try to make it work.

Knowing your husband is worth working for.